Saturday, 9 November 2013

Jamb Questions...Reloaded





I can't believe I'm turning this into a post...and I also can't believe I felt like walking up the wall, out of exasperation.

This is something I had held up to be appreciable, worthy of being praised...raise your hand if you have a little chatter box around you doing the one million per day question run. 

Yes. 1, 2, 3...put them down, please. 

There I was minding my own business trying to make dinner and in they ran with all their paraphernalia of office in tow...and it all began..


 I love fielding questions but one million whys and hows in the space of a few minutes with no breather must require some extra skills and competence. You think I'm exaggerating? 

Be my guest, please.

PS: What you are about to read is a 'true life story', no addition, no subtraction...lol

It started when I brought out a mini cereal bowl which D1 instantly recognized as his brother's utensil when he was a baby.

Mummy, Is that the plate D2 was using when he was a baby? Yes. 
I should have just stopped there but continued running my big mouth by adding..and yours too, you used it when you were also a baby.
I used it when I was a baby? Yes
Where was D2 when I was a baby? In heaven
Doing what? Playing with Jesus and God...(couldn't think of a better answer)
How can he play with Jesus and God? Because he was/is a child of God...ok
So how did he get to this house? I gave birth to him 

How did you do that? I was pregnant and when it was time, I went to the hospital and he came out with the help of doctors... (thankfully he didnt ask, came out from where)
What did the doctors do for you? They took care of us
Why? To make sure we were fine
Was your tummy very big? Yes
Did he burst out of your tummy? No, babies don't burst out of their mother's tummy.
 
A brief pause...

Mummy, were you also a baby before? Yes
What were you doing? I crawled, cried, sucked and did everything babies do...
*short laughter*
What did your mummy do? she took care of me
Where is your mummy now? She's dead
Is she 100yrs old? No, she was 61yrs when she died
So where is she now? In heaven
But people die when they are 100yrs old...No not everybody live up to 100years, some fall sick and die while some have accidents and die.
Ok.
Mummy...yes? I don't want you to do your birthday anymore
Why? because I dont want you to be 100yrs old and die...awww...but everybody will die one day, its normal. You know that is why you should keep praying to God everyday to keep us all.

And the session continued...

When we are all 100yrs old, will we go to heaven? Yes, when we die, we will go to heaven
Who will take us to heaven? Jesus
What will we be doing there? Singing and playing
So Jesus will be carrying us one by one? No answer
When will we come back to our house? We wont come back because heaven will be our new home
What will be eating there now? We will be fine because there is no hunger or suffering in heaven
Have you went there before? No but I read about it in my bible
So we will not take Rice Krispies? No, everything we need is already in heaven
Is Jesus going to cook for us? Yes, he will give us everything we need and want
Can Jesus cook by himself? Yes
Does Jesus have a mummy? Yes he had a mummy when he was on earth, you know he was once a baby too. Ok.
So where is his mummy? In heaven
She died and went to heaven too? Yes
Was she 100yrs old before she died? I don't know 
If Jesus is in heaven, then that means he's dead too. Yes he died, but he is still alive, watching over us.

Yours truly quickly shoved them both out of the kitchen before another one came.
Thought that was all for the day....but the respite was brief...Too brief
After dinner...
How did your mummy die? Was she sick? No, she was involved in a car accident
How, mummy? She was in a car, one of the tyres burst and the car somersaulted
So what did your mummy do? She died
When we get to heaven can I ask her why she allowed the tyre to burst? It was an accident and she was not the one driving
Who was driving? A man
Did he die? No
Why? I don't know
So what did you do when she died? I cried 
Why? because I love her and would not see her again
You should not cry now as if you want to follow her to heaven....ehn ehn
You will see her again in heaven now. Yes, I know...will you hug her when you see her? Yes
So who will take care of your sisters and brothers? They are all grown and can take care of themselves like me.
Ok.

I quickly picked my phone pretending to dial a number.

So, mummy will you take your phone to heaven? No (No escape route here)
So what will you do when it is ringing in the house and we are in heaven? There is no need for phones in heaven
Why? (I put it to you to answer plus mummy was tired already) 

Would you like to watch your Rock N Learn ABC CD? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss
I had to pick my laptop and form 'busyness' as an escape route.

Oh for the love of all that is good and holy! Stop. Now. Seriously. I will throw water on you if you don’t!
It is no secret I love my child. But there are times, especially when he gets in his incessant-never-ending-I’m-going-to-dull-your-brain-with-questions mode that I want to scream. Honestly.
I’m not proud of this, but there have been times this has driven me so nuts that he would win a maturity contest. He’s three. He’ll start asking questions and, when I can no longer take it, I begin to ask him questions until he taps out by saying, “Daddy, please stop asking questions.” Usually my first response to his request is a whiny, “Why do you want me to stop asking questions?”
I’m not proud.
I get that he is curious. I get that he is learning. Actually, I love it. I want him to be a life-long learner. So I often bite my tongue, fight back the glaze that wants to cover my eyes, and endure the pain that is the third degree about where water goes in the toilet. Because I don’t want my son to be afraid to ask questions. I don’t want him to learn that asking questions is something that will get you in trouble. That it will produce pain. He will learn that from others, but I don’t want him to learn that from me. I want to encourage his curiosity.
I think I need to admit that I’m just not curious any more. I don’t care why there are dead worms in the sandbox. That’s what happens. Worms crawl in sandboxes and die. No, they don’t want to die, but they just do. That’s life. That’s just the way it is.
I’ve been saying that a lot to get out of the black-hole of questions. “That’s just the way it is.” The other day my son looked at me and said, “Daddy. Babies eat milk and foxes eat birds. That’s just the way it is.”
Yes, yes it is.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/sometimes-we-need-a-break-from-the-questions/#sthash.duO0u6XW.dpuf
Phew...Felt like I've answered a million and one questions already.

I absolutely love it when those questions come, but please for the love of all that is beautiful and holy....let mummy breathe inbetween.

I get it that kids, especially 4yr olds are curious, growing and learning and we are their bridge to the world.
I definitely want them to be unafraid of asking questions; I want them to be free to approach us with queries, confident they are going to get answers to those queries. I want them to be sharp and imaginative.
And that is why I refrain from rolling my eyes and evading some of these sessions, particularly when mama is ultra-tired and her brain is supersaturated. 
Those sessions are good, eye opening even as it affords us the opportunity of viewing the world through their beautiful eyes. Whats more, the questions have the ability to bring me back to earth with a loud thud whenever I'm lost in my own little world. Nothing gets my attention like 'ooh Mummmyyyy, you are not listening to me, I'm talking to you'.

Blimey. Mummy is here.

So mummy has developed her own coping mechanism, regardless of fatigue which is:
Honestly answer every question to the best of her ability without doing the eye-roll thing, maintaining a cheerful disposition to encourage more questions even when all her nerve endings are screaming STOP.

Mummy's belief: if she doesn't provide answers to those queries, someone else, rightly or wrongly will.

Oh for the love of all that is good and holy! Stop. Now. Seriously. I will throw water on you if you don’t!
It is no secret I love my child. But there are times, especially when he gets in his incessant-never-ending-I’m-going-to-dull-your-brain-with-questions mode that I want to scream. Honestly.
I’m not proud of this, but there have been times this has driven me so nuts that he would win a maturity contest. He’s three. He’ll start asking questions and, when I can no longer take it, I begin to ask him questions until he taps out by saying, “Daddy, please stop asking questions.” Usually my first response to his request is a whiny, “Why do you want me to stop asking questions?”
I’m not proud.
I get that he is curious. I get that he is learning. Actually, I love it. I want him to be a life-long learner. So I often bite my tongue, fight back the glaze that wants to cover my eyes, and endure the pain that is the third degree about where water goes in the toilet. Because I don’t want my son to be afraid to ask questions. I don’t want him to learn that asking questions is something that will get you in trouble. That it will produce pain. He will learn that from others, but I don’t want him to learn that from me. I want to encourage his curiosity.
I think I need to admit that I’m just not curious any more. I don’t care why there are dead worms in the sandbox. That’s what happens. Worms crawl in sandboxes and die. No, they don’t want to die, but they just do. That’s life. That’s just the way it is.
I’ve been saying that a lot to get out of the black-hole of questions. “That’s just the way it is.” The other day my son looked at me and said, “Daddy. Babies eat milk and foxes eat birds. That’s just the way it is.”
Yes, yes it is.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/sometimes-we-need-a-break-from-the-questions/#sthash.duO0u6XW.dpuf
(Going to start documenting all those moments henceforth and hopefully, we would all get to read together when they are all grown and marvel at how mummy got through those moments)

Even now as I type, the question continues...why are you pressing that?
Where do frogs sleep?
What are you writing on your laptop?
Are you pressing that one now? (publish button)

*Press*
Published.
Enjoy. 

Do have a superblessed weekend, lovely people.




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7 Comments:

At 11/11/2013, 10:24 , OpenID chuwechuwe said...

LOL wow! I fell exhausted just reading this. The baby wants to be sure they fully understand lol. They are so cute though, especially when he says he doesn't want to have birthdays anymore :)

 
At 11/11/2013, 10:27 , OpenID chuwechuwe said...

feel*

 
At 11/11/2013, 10:31 , OpenID chuwechuwe said...

LOL wow! I feel exhausted just reading this. The baby wants to be sure they fully understand lol. They are so cute though, especially when he says he doesn't want you to have birthdays anymore :)

 
At 13/11/2013, 20:31 , Blogger Abiola said...

Hahaha...you havent even read half of what I deal with everyday and you are exhausted already.

 
At 19/11/2013, 12:55 , Blogger Ugochi said...

My goodness, I can imagine me and my boys when they were much younger. Their curiosity can be overwhelming most of the time. Thank goodness you escaped to breathe, lol...

 
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